Thursday, September 06, 2007

Fr. Corapi Facts

I love the Chuck Norris ones. And the Vin Diesel ones. But now we have Fr. Corapi Facts.

Father Corapi does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die (in order to administer Viaticum...duh).


Every time Father Corapi says Mass, an angel gets its wings.


Father Corapi and God once shared a high-five. The wind that was created caused Hurricane Katrina.


Father Corapi, when he was in the military, once shot down an enemy plane by pointing his finger and shouting, "Bang!"


They say lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Father Corapi. He doesn't have to.


"Abortion clinics, pornography stores...I would move my artillery into place and light 'em up! I would totally liquidate them...speaking metaphorically, of course"


The Soldier's Creed states, "surrender is not an option...except when Father Corapi is in town."


The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing fear has to fear is Father Corapi.


Regardless of race, gender, location, or education level... at one point in your life you have underestimated Father Corapi. You will live just long enough to regret this.


"I am ready and willing to destroy my enemies in close and mortal combat."


Father Corapi's statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary wears combat boots.


Father Corapi's Rosary is made of spent .54 caliber bullet shells. No, really.


When Satan goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet to make sure Father Corapi isn't there.


An apple a day does not keep Father Corapi away. Only going to Mass and confession every day keeps Father Corapi away... sometimes.

2 comments:

Athanasius contra mundum said...

That's great stuff! I reposted it on my blog.

Corinne said...

One of my favorites that he said was, "I wouldn't commit another mortal sin, even if you put a gun to my head!"

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Catholic and politically conservative, I graduated with a BA in History (concentration in American) and Political Science. I'm between two parishes; one in Wisconsin that is fairly traditional, and one in Illinois that is fairly liberal. I teach CCD. I work in the food service industry, which basically means I'm working in fast food until I find a better job. I'd like to work for the church somehow. Right now I'm working on getting my teaching certification, although I'm unsure thats the correct path for me. This blog is as random as I am. I hope you enjoy.